Remember the Walnut Creek residents who feared a Neiman Marcus store would turn downtown into a congested mess? Turns out they were right.
I went to the grand opening Friday, and it took me nearly two minutes to find a parking spot almost a block and a half away.
They were dead on, too, about the storefront blocking scenic sight lines. As I approached from the west on Mt. Diablo Boulevard, the building obscured what used to be a lovely view of Nordstrom's rooftop.
The shoppers who stampeded the upscale retailer when it finally opened its doors came in all sizes and shapes. There were women in designer slacks and heels, men in old sneakers and knee-worn jeans, young mothers pushing strollers and older women dragging grumpy husbands by invisible tethers.
I brought my personal fashion consultant, so I would know what I was seeing.
Among the first items we examined was a marvelous houndstooth sheath, with fitted capped sleeves and attached bolero, by Alexander McQueen. I knew it was marvelous because it was priced at $2,800.
My first car cost less than that, and it didn't need to be dry cleaned.
We peeked into the Stella McCartney boutique -- "She's Paul McCartney's daughter," the consultant said -- and saw some striking things, but they were marked in European sizes. I forgot to bring my European-to-American conversion guide, so we had to move on.
If you are into designer labels, Neiman Marcus is a sweet slice of pretentiousness: Missoni, Ralph Lauren, Gucci, Lora Piana, Aidan Mattox, Chanel and more.
Cowboys brand cattle, Neiman Marcus brands people. You can tell what herd they belong to by their logo.
The store even has designer toddler wear, which is one of the reasons the rest of the world hates us. We admired a Florence Eisman hand-embroidered dress for a 3-year-old -- lined, of course -- for just $92. It would have gone nicely with a tiny pair of Stuart Weitzman leather sandals, offered in pink or silver metallic, for $59.
"This," said my consultant, "is the kind of shoe you'd want your 3-year-old to kick off, so your friends can see the label."
We priced Jimmy Choo designer shoes at $665 a pair, which were a steal compared with Christian Louboutin's platform pumps (with stiletto heels) at $825.
"The red underneath is his signature," my consultant said. I told her I had a can of spray paint in the garage, and I'd be happy to give her shoes the same signature look.
A Neiman Marcus textured black leather men's belt was available for $425 and a smooth-finished brown one for $146. But it was a wide, orange belt ($300) that caught my eye. It looked like it might have belonged to a crossing guard.
Curiously, we didn't see many people actually buying anything. For all the bodies filling the aisles, hardly anyone carried a shopping bag.
We planned to eat in the Neiman Marcus café, where popovers come with every order, but you needed a table for that. The wait was 2? hours, so we slipped next door to California Pizza Kitchen and discussed the high fashion we'd seen and couldn't afford.
I finally located a customer with merchandise out on the sidewalk, a man in his 20s carrying a small silver Neiman Marcus box. It looked like it might contain a necklace.
"What did you get?" I asked.
"A cookie," he said.
I forgot to ask for the designer's name.
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