Malcolm is shocked to learn Kisha sold

Maybe it seems like “A Haunted House” is a cheap knock-off of the “Scary Movie” series. After all, it almost parallels the goals of the successful horror spoofs.

On the contrary, nothing written here will discourage comedy enthusiasts from enjoying an hour and a half of cheap laughs. Many fantastic works, films and otherwise, are derived, almost plagiarized, from successful ones before them, including the “Scary Movie” series, “Date Night” and a number of vampire-themed books.

At first glance, Malcolm (Marlon Wayans) and Kisha (Essence Atkins) seem like a perfect couple. They recently have moved in together and are beginning their lives as a serious couple. It is soon learned that Malcolm is a wise man for allowing a live-in trial period before proposing to Kisha.

As he and Kisha begin settling into their new living arrangement, strange things start happening. Malcolm is shocked to learn Kisha sold her soul to the devil for a pair of shoes when she was a little girl and has been possessed by a demon since the incident. Throughout the film, he tries everything to get the demon to leave, including psychics, priests and prison-hardened gang members.

The whole movie is filmed using Malcolm’s new high-definition camera. Apparently, he had purchased it just before Kisha moved in so he could record the memories he expected them to make.

Arguably, the funniest scene is when Malcolm uses Kisha’s stuffed animals to show the audience the best way to make love to a woman. I felt like he was speaking to me directly when he said, “Get out your pen and pad,” because I was the only one in the audience with those objects.

Be assured that I did not let those valuable instructions go to waste. This film not only provides laughs, but also a very useful instructional video - one that could prove useful both on and off campus.

However, “A Haunted House” is not meant to be a sex-ed class. After making it through the whole thing, I’m honestly not sure what the purpose of the movie is. There is a different main character, plot, theme or climax every five to ten minutes.

It seemed like the story was about to take a completely different direction when an improvised security camera caught Rosa (Marlene Forte), the housekeeper, acting as a drug lord, murderer and possible prostitute. Once again, don’t take that the wrong way. The movie is hilarious and is sure to make any person with even the smallest sense of humor laugh uncontrollably.

In any other review, plot would be discussed more, the tone of the film would be examined or some analysis of the intricacies of the performance would be given. When dealing with “A Haunted House,” there is not much to discuss besides the heft of random comedy. In fact, the film is not much more than a spoof of a spoof.

If nothing else is gained from this review, be warned that if you walk into a showing expecting a quality scary movie, which would not be hard given the title, you probably will expect a full refund plus a gift card to Outback Steakhouse as you walk dreary-eyed and confused out of the screening room.

Model and presenter Tamara, who is worth a reported ￡300million, began the evening at a nearby restaurant with close friend Lucy Galsworthy where they downed a bottle of Dom Perignon champagne to “get the night started”.

She was still up at 5am yesterday taking to Twitter to write: “Amazing night @AuraMayfair three hours sleep before a photo shoot!”

The eldest daughter of Bernie and his former wife Slavica, Tamara lives in a ￡45million Kensington townhouse, which has a ￡1million white crystal bath.

Her smash hit fly-on-the-wall Channel 5 series Billion $$ Girl revealed she owns 120 pairs of designer Christian Louboutin shoes and 30 Hermes handbags. She regularly takes her dogs for spa facials.

Despite being one of the world’s most eligible bachelorettes, Tamara recently declared there is no man in her life at the moment. She said: “I’m not looking for love but if it happens, it happens, and that would be nice.

“I’ve always been in long-term relationships and this is the first time I’ve lived alone and been single and it’s good to be able to be alone. I’m not looking, but I’m not averse to the idea. I’m just having fun.”